Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#022): Warmth From Coolness

“All of us were born with our own basic instinct, all of us are created by God to have our own judgement but (as we base them on the act of kindness) still in accordance to His will.”

-Alfie Tilan

(24-March-中国体彩官方app下载安卓)

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Okay, in a form of a disclaimer; I am a man who understands that we are all created equal but were given with a gift of deciding on what we choose to be and decide what to do and say, I also believe on the cliché that goes “to each his own”…. but, I am fed up!

Why is it that there are people who are fond of sharing “breaking news” to their friends without verifying first if they (the news) are reliable or not?

Okay, I understand that some friends would like to be the “first” in sharing such “interesting news/write-up. Or probably they are too concerned (or too excited) and they don’t want us (their friends) to miss the great (or disturbing news.

Sometimes we tend to deprive ourselves with the analytical sense that our judgement, on determining if they’re fake news or not, is purely based on our wish that the exclusive news/write-ups are true or not.

Most of the times, when we fail to verify the truth behind those links that we share, our excitement bring harm to the friends whom we passed on those fake news and fake links-to-click-on to.

Sometimes we have to think and evaluate our inner sense and ask this question: if we found the news (fake or not) online, isn’t it fair to say that, most probably, your friends (whom you plan to share the news to via online) have also seen it? Which means that it’d be pointless (read irritating) if you share that news to them (also) online!

I also can’t understand nor comprehend the reasons why people love to share dreadful acts of violence and gore photos online that would make someone puke. COME ON! You think you’re helping the cause to stop violence and prevent blood and gore  by sharing those online? What’s worse than this is when I see at the end of the shared online post soliciting the readers to comment “AMEN” as an act of “faith” or “prayer”…and they think that this would help the CAUSE!!???       

Now that the rest of the world is experiencing probably one of the darkest days brought about by Covid-19, the false vigilance being shared by some people in social media is appalling to say the least.

To be honest, I am still in denial. I never imagined I’d witness people living in a “worldwide pandemic state” at this current level in my lifetime…

What’s worse is how some people react online, and even worse from that is how they share uncool happenings that bring confusion and uneasiness to their “circle of friends”.

Yes I act like one of the “cool” ones as I try my dandiest best to stay away from the “toxicity” that most social media apps bring. I mean why would some people dare to contribute to the “panic and stress” brought about by Covid-19?

Why would people share to others the dread effect of “panic buying” based on what they see online and what they initially experienced (e.g. in the supermarket where basic commodities start to run out)?

Some people even have the temerity to brag about how they accomplished getting the “priced and in-demand commodities” first hand before they run out….as if adding salt to the wound of those who missed out, like; “hey, I got the last one and there’s probably nothing left here for you to buy”!

Wouldn’t it be nice if people are sensitive enough to think that if everyone else is thinking (and doing) what they just shared online, it would create more stress and panic to those who read what you shared?

All of us were born with our own basic instinct, all of us are created by God to have our own judgement but (as we base them on the act of kindness) still in accordance to His will.

We are currently in a pandemic state…and this is not a race to acquire those basic commodities that we feel we should hoard. This is not a contest that we feel we should triumph over the others who can’t have those goods in time before they run out.

We should learn to listen not just to the Government, who keep on saying that we are okay and we should not be doing panic buying so that these basic commodities will be shared equally, and normally…we should also prioritize in our heart and mind what God is trying to say to us, we have to listen to what He is trying to say to us…we have to encourage Faith Hope and Love amongst us.

Maybe you are now mumbling about how Faith (in God) couldn’t feed me and how false it is to simply believe and hold on to what we have learned as Christians (from, Luke 4:4: “And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God”). I tell you, I am not used to preaching about how GREAT our Almighty GOD is but I can truly say that whatever happens, I am at Peace because God is with me…and I keep on Praying that all of us will be at peace with Him too.

Perhaps the best thing that we could do right now is to Trust in the Lord with all our heart. We may not have been given the gift and talent and profession to solve this crisis but we can always contribute through Prayers. Let’s all pray that the Medical experts who are doing the best they can to find a cure may remain healthy and acquire God’s gift of wisdom to put an end to this pandemic.

…and for those who don’t believe in God and who don’t utter prayers, let’s all act together as humans who care for each other, after all we live in the same world, and this world would remain as the best place to live in if we all live in peace and harmony.  

-Alfie Tilan

(24-March-中国体彩官方app下载安卓)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#021): Fifty One and One

“All explanations of different people (from different backgrounds) as to why they decided to end their relationship are like clouds in the sky. There are easy ones; those that you can see right away what shape or form the clouds obviously portray, but most of the time the people looking at those clouds are the ones who create the image and shapes of the clouds through their own vivid imagination.” -Alfie Tilan (28-February-中国体彩官方app下载安卓)

I’m now 51 years (and a month) old.

Take note I used the word “old” to simply emphasize that I don’t mind being called as one because no matter how young I (or probably anyone else for that matter) feel inside, the fact that I am now living on this earth for more than half a century, is in itself a reality that those who are younger than me also get the feeling that they’re “old”.

Inevitably, other than the physical changes as having more grey hair, etc., all the things that are happening around me always serve as a reminder that I now belong in the “older” generation:

My youngest child just turned 20 a few weeks ago and so, officially (since my daughter and my son have now passed their teenage years, and my friends look at them as adults), it automatically makes me an old man.

Old man; age-wise…. and

Old man…indeed a grown-up man…

This blog however is not just about me being “grumpy” (read as “happy”) about my age or an exploration of valid realization that I am now officially “old”. Well, they’re probably part of the root cause why I got inspired to give my views on a topic that I reckon every adult can easily relate to; LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP.

My (soon to be) 25 year old nephew, Jun (or Faust to some of his friends), and first among our (my wife Julie, and I) nephews and nieces to “take the plunge”, will be getting married to his girlfriend Mercy….and you know what, even though I haven’t personally witnessed how their relationship blossomed into how it came to be right now, and even though they’re more than half my age, I see them as two matured people that are not just so much in love with each other but more so on the positive aspect that they already know what they want, and what to achieve in the future and of course them being on common ground as to how to fulfill those dreams…TOGETHER.

Yes, I only got to see Mercy (personally) once, when we had our Family Holiday back 中国体彩官方app下载安卓 in the Philippines last year in July. There’s really no question about them being in love with each other and I do believe that they are “a lot more matured” than some acquaintances and couples that I know who simply don’t (or refuse to) know what their plans are for each other.

I don’t know Jun and Marcy’s love story, nor when and how they met… but I started noticing how serious their relationship is until after I got messages from Jun (who by the way is a licensed Mechanical Engineer and has been working in a prestigious international firm in the Philippines for more than 3 years), asking me for some advice mostly on how to improve his career as a Professional Mechanical Engineer.

That’s why when I learned that they started planning their wedding, which will happen this year, I know for sure that they also started their journey towards Love Forever… CONGRATULATIONS Jun and Mercy.

Why is it that I already claimed the over rated word that is FOREVER? Well, I always have this belief that a couple who officially become lovers, or “in a relationship” status should never count Day 1 of their relationship as a couple when they were still studying (high school/college and university), or when they haven’t found a job (that they love and can be pictured as a lifelong career) yet.

“Official count” or Day 1 of a relationship should start after a couple can look at each other’s eyes and say, I am working and I can live independently on my own… and after saying this out loud to each other (or even to one’s self), that’s the time they’d know if they are ready to be in a “serious” relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend or not.

Although, my belief has been proven wrong for so many times (because I also know some couples who started as “high-school lovers”… and fast forward to almost 40 years later, they’re still together living happily as husband and wife) …. I also know a lot of long term (10 happy years) “high-school to university” relationships who ended breaking-up (amicably at that) on their 1st year as full time employees where they realised that they couldn’t see themselves being together as husband and wife because, with their current career, they can now picture (more clearly) their future priorities… and, unfortunately, that is without each other.

The variety of reasons as to why do couples breakup is almost beyond comprehension.

All explanations of different people (from different backgrounds) as to why they decided to end their relationship are like clouds in the sky. There are easy ones; those that you can see right away what shape or form the clouds obviously portray, but most of the time the people looking at those clouds are the ones who create the image and shapes of the clouds through their own vivid imagination.

The easy ones, where people from outside looking in, can easily point out the obvious reason of the breakup, are the physical abuse a person has to go through, because no matter how bad the situation is, hurting a partner physically to let that partner experience so much physical pain as a form of vengeance, hatred, or simply anger, is enough reason to break-up with that person.

The other reasons that we perceive as to why couples breakup are the ones that we don’t usually, see that’s why we picture the reason of breakup from our own creative mind. We judge what happened in the relationship based on an unclear shape of the clouds that we have seen and what we have imagined them to be.

These are the negatives of committing yourself into a relationship with someone, it is as if you give each other the permission to know each other more and even allow yourselves to show your own vulnerability to each other. Others even say that the moment you commit into a relationship, you automatically give your partner the “access” to hurt you (in any way, shape, or form). Of course course I dont believe this “statement”.

Being vulnerable is something that other people see as a weakness, a negative trait for any person to have. People’s vulnerability is sometimes being used to “hostage” their feelings by, of all people, the ones closest to them; their partners.

On the flipside, those who are truly in love with their partners, who entrusted them their own vulnerability (by showing their true self as a sign of love, openness, and honesty) often experience a true sense of self worth upon realizing that they are appreciated and loved more because they unravel the window to their real character through their vulnerability…they are loved because of who they are and not what the partner desire them to be…just like what is said in one of the most popular songs by The Carpenters, Love Me for What I Am…”You’ve got to love me for what I am, for simply being me.
Don’t love me for what you intend or hope that I will be…”

The most positive aspect of being in love is to reach the point of deciding to live the rest of your life forever with someone through the sanctity of marriage.

I do respect the view of those who don’t believe in marriage, and those who think that couples can still be happy in love; together… forever even without getting married.

In my view, however, if a person can spend a great amount of time (e.g. 5 years) living together with his/her partner, and still can’t figure out if they really are the right couple who’d officially settle down (get married), is a travesty in a relationship.

If you can’t answer the question if your partner is really the right person to marry after 5 long years of being together as a couple (note: the stages of courtship, being “just” friends, and longtime closeness as acquaintances, do not count as part of 5 years), then leave the relationship right away, move on, and don’t ever forget to do it nicely and humbly. Sometimes it’s better to break the relationship up for the sake of giving your partner the fair chance of finding the right person who will love him/her without any doubt, the person who’d be there unconditionally, the ONE who’s ready to be that person’s forever through the sanctity of marriage.

There are some different cases where I understand that even though both parties have decided to get married, but they just can’t(!) due to some factors like; family matters, career, financial stability, etc….well at least, based on their mutual affirmation of love respectively toward each other, these couples will be feeling secured about their future as couples.

Selfish is the person who’d treat a partner as a “back-up plan” if in case there are no better partners available as an alternative in the future years ahead.

You don’t decide whom to marry based on your presumption that the person is a better choice compared to others.

You don’t marry someone because you can become a better person on the eyes of others; i.e. if your partner is good- looking, filthy rich, extremely popular…among others factors.

Marry someone because your partner’s happiness is your great happiness as well…and vice versa…the journey to forever is not complete if the partner doesn’t feel the same towards you… and I’m happy for Jun and Mercy because I can see this kind of LOVE in them).

One last thing…for those who are still single, if you pursue someone because you feel that you love the person based on your positive expectations towards him/her…please stop! It’s not fair because once you succeed in making that person fall for you and you realise that your expectations were not met, both of you will suffer especially to the one who was pursued… it’s not easy to fall into a process of becoming in love with someone only to find out later that that someone changed his/her mind because you (unknowingly) failed his/her expectations.

Keep your feelings to yourself if you feel like you’re just in love with the thought of being in love with someone.

-Alfie Tilan

(28-February-中国体彩官方app下载安卓)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#020): Stage of Tranquility

..and because my childhood dreams seem so vague, I couldn’t really tell if I have already lived my dreams or maybe those dreams are still “works in progress” and a greater future (still) awaits…

-Alfie Tilan

(06-December-2019)

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Many years ago, I always dreamed of the great things and a good life in the future… as I look back contemplating on those dreams, I just realized that those dreams have no specifics… I just wished for me to experience great things and good life in the future.

I guess growing up being raised by a “poor” couple, who most of the times struggle (they are my heroes because they really tried hard with full of love) to provide comfortable permanent shelter for us (me and my two sisters), gave me that perception that: to look forward to experiencing simple dreams in the future can give me the inspiration to aspire for that simple dream…

…and because my childhood dreams seem so vague, I couldn’t really tell if I have already lived my dreams or maybe those dreams are still “works in progress” and a greater future (still) awaits…

…until a couple of weeks ago.

I came across and watched this 1997 movie, lead by American Actor: Brad Pitt, titled “Seven Years in Tibet”. This is based on a true story.

There was a line there from Heinrich Harrer (portrayed by Brad Pitt) that immensely captured my sensibility;

“I have at least learned to contemplate the events of life with tranquility and not let myself be flung to and fro by circumstances in a sea of doubt.”
– Heinrich Harrer

I just stopped thinking about the past (and the future). I just told myself that I know now what I truly want as a culmination of my childhood dream; to learn and live what Heinrich’s realization as described on the quote above… I want that PEACE!

I wish I can get out of the “traditional civilisation” and fully embrace what this other line in the same movie tries to convey:

“This is another great difference between our civilisation and yours. You admire the man who pushes his way to the top in any walk of life, while we admire the man who abandons his ego.”
– Pema Lhaki (a character portrayed by Lhakpa Tsamchoe, in the movie; “Seven Years in Tibet”)

I wish I reach the stage of tranquility that i define as….a person with no ego, a person living life with full tranquility…towards a peaceful civilisation…!

-Alfie Tilan
(06-December-2019)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#019): Spontaneity

In major decisions of our life, sometimes we have to take the risk, but we always have to be true to ourselves.

-Alfie Tilan

(17-11-2019)

“I’m freezing in the sun
I’m burning in the rain..
the silence, I’m screaming, calling out your name”…
-by: Champ Lui Pio of the band “Hale”, from the song, “The Day You Said Goodnight”.

If only life can tell us specifically what are those many ironies and uncertainties as we live the path that we chose to go to…

…then the (good or bad) surprises along the journey, will probably have little genuine effects on us because we will always be on guard, teeming with anticipation on what’s about to take place in our life.

When I was still in high school my best friend Nazer and I “learned” about what spontaneity in life’s all about… yes, we’ve learned about the word but never truly in a position to say that we’ve experienced anything “spontaneous” that made us extremely happy or sad, because we didn’t get the “luxury” to anticipate the next stage of our life.

I never prayed, never wished, and never wanted to have the luxury of knowing “what is life to offer me, when I grow old” (from the song “Next In Line” by After Image)… I never long to be given the warning that something bad will happen or something great will transpire in an event that I’m set to attend to because it will always be a deciding factor if I will still go to that event or not.

Way back in my high school and university days I never held back on expressing my feelings especially if I was truly “crushing” on someone.

Perhaps, the lyrics of this great song released in 1982 by David Pomeranz entitled “Got To Believe in Magic” has somewhat influenced my outlook about true feeling’s expression…
“Pity those who wait, trust in love to faith, finding out too late that they’ve lost it.
Never letting go, they will never know the ways of love”

In major decisions of our life, sometimes we have to take the risk, but we always have to be true to ourselves.

Where am I headed with this post?

I would like to thank my wife Julie because she took the risk of officially accepting me as her boyfriend EXACTLY 25 years ago today.

November 17, 1994, Julie said yes when I asked her if I can be her boyfriend.

It was one of the happiest moments in my life…and much much more 25 years later…

We celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary, September of this year, but it wouldn’t have come to be without first going through the boyfriend/girlfriend stage of our relationship.

(It would be more fitting though if you can reserve your “Happy Anniversary” greetings to us every 20th of September, the date of our wedding anniversary… and not on this date, 17th of November).

Yes, in more than a quarter of a century of being in love with each other, reality always set in: God will always give us challenges along the way, only to realize that those challenges will make our relationship stronger……and figuratively speaking, Julie and I have experienced “freezing in the sun, and burning in the rain”… but calling on God’s Guidance and Blessings will always be our our shield towards eternity.

Thank you my Labidabs, I thank God for giving you the gift of “spontaneity” when you accepted my Love 25 years ago today… the length of time of being together is not a true measurement or assurance that every step that we take will lead to happiness and pleasure… and having said that,
herewith also is my sincere apologies…I am truly sorry if I sometimes fail your expectations towards me…in the last 25 years…and counting…rest assured that I am, and will always be the very much Forever in Love Alfie that you said yes to 25 years ago today.

Yes, today may not be our official anniversary but today is the start why we have started looking forward to all the days of being together focused on our love to each other and not the unpleasant spontaneous things that we encounter along the way towards JulFie’s Love Journey.

Again, thank you very much, and I love you forever My Labidabs…

Alfie Tilan
(17-11-2019)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#018): The Warmth of Peace Through Cold Silence

“Is it just me overreacting or there are simply people in this world who are insensitive without them even knowing it.”

-Alfie Tilan

(30-October-2019)

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Is it a normal feeling to get overwhelmed by the extremities of (still) figuring out how on earth can I change my perception about life in a period where everything else appear to be falling into place…?

…and then there are times when I talk to myself with the littlest reality “face-pinch” questioning myself if I’m dreaming or not?

You see, I am by the way, the expressive type of a person.

I always believe that I deserve to let go of my emotions bit by implicating bit… I shout, I laugh, I cry… I talk, I write (poems, rants, blog, post in social media), I sing, i dance…

The last few weeks, however, are different… I chose to remain at peace with myself and my family… stayed focus at work on daytime… and simply relax at 中国体彩官方app下载安卓 at night and looked forward to family time.

I wouldn’t say that I have disconnected myself to the normal world these past few weeks because of the realization that having one’s “normal days” is subjective.

There were a few times, whilst having conversations with friends, when I attributed my “silence” to being older and into this (overused phrase) sign of ageing.

Is it just me overreacting or there are simply people in this world who are insensitive without them even knowing it?

I can think of a few instances or cases wherein I easily got irritated because of the way some people around me distracted my “peace and sense of enjoyment”.

Case #1: In a tennis grandslam tournament quarterfinals, I was watching this intense match live in the arena, and tournament favourite Rafael Nadal was serving for the match… and for most people, capturing the final dagger to Nadal’s opponent, from their phone, will be a great souvenir. I had fellow ecpectators taking videos in anticipation of a match-clinching point…there’s really nothing wrong with that but for heaven’s sake, turn off the flash from your camera that disturbs views from spectators nearby, and besides, it (camera flash) wouldn’t serve it’s purpose anyway in a well lit arena.

Case#2: In a seminar where a well-known figure is conducting his speech, some people can’t help but take photos of him during the speech. Okay, there’s nothing wrong with that, but (again!), those irritating sounds coming from a cellphone camera somewhat disturbed my peace and distracted my listening pleasure and missed some sensible highlights of the speech….turn that camera sound off please!

Case#3: I’m a regular “中国体彩官方app下载安卓-work-中国体彩官方app下载安卓” train commuter.

I love the silence especially on morning commutes. I don’t mind those people having conversations loud enough for most fellow passengers to hear, but what I can’t tolerate are those who listen music through their earphones. The sound setting probably is in full volume, or the earphones’ quality are so poor that people around them can hear their music “loud enough”, and regardless if i also like the music coming out from those headphones…for me it’s a NOISE. It’s like a bee is buzzing around my ear the whole time.

Turn the volume down please!

Are these cases the obvious signs that I’m turning out to be a grumpy old man at 50?

I just hate being in a situation wherein i can’t do anything to address the things that annoy me without getting into an argument or something.

Unlike the first 2 cases wherein I can’t find a solution without having a confrontation, the 3rd Case was addressed by “joining the club” of music listening train commuters. I started bringing my own earphones to listen to “my kind of music” from my phone…

Well, it’s not as “peaceful” as I want it to be (because my kind of “peace” is being “in one” with nature and not througj man-made alternatives), but eliminating the noise that annoys you in lieu of listening to music that you like is enough to bring comfort to my train travel times.

Having said that, I always look forward to moments of embracing what wondrous nature offer us consistently (the fresh air we breath, the beautiful views we see, the natural sounds we hear, and the glorious sunlight we feel)…… away from the noise of gadgets and shielded away from the toxic we see and hear from people seem to got used to spreading the unwanted vibes created through social media… and yeah, even in person (without them knowing it).

So, obviously this blog post is a sign that I’m back in social media, not to counter those toxic posts that we see everyday…but to be, at least, positive with everything that I post and within the bounds of what i can control.

Yes, I can say that I am truly overwhelmed by all the Blessings God has given me and my family.. and yet I still long for those “little” request of PEACE that I attribute to being a grumpy aging man… and you’re probably saying out loud that I am spreading toxicity in the minds of all those who read this blog (because of my being “grumpy” with those little things that annoy me), but hey, this is reality, no one will know if you’re causing annoyance to someone, unless you get reminded (read: awareness), that what you may think as normal to you naybe a distraction to others… start with self-respect but be mindful and always give respect to others around you…

Respect, by the way, is not exclusive to any particular age, it covers all people… from anyone who acts like a baby, to a “grumpy 50-year old” like me.

– Alfie Tilan

(30-10-2019)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#017): I’ve GoT Contentment On Failed Expectations

“Life is about having a lot of questions that are mostly rhetorical in nature. Having these questions in our heart make us look forward to the future with a lot of pleasurable uncertainties, challenges, excitement, and that sense of fulfilment as we get there, the future that we expect and hope to happen.”

ALFIE TILAN

(24-May-2019)

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Beyond the fulfilment of our dreams lie a full sense of our own security towards the future …

….or maybe not, because sometimes our (selfless) dreams may pertain to others’ well-being.

Most of the time, no matter how dedicated we are to accomplish (along the way) what’d be needed to fulfil our dreams (or wishes), at the end of the journey, we do still have this sense of acceptance if ever our dreams don’t come true.

This is what isolates our dreams from our own expectations… the way we’d handle the sense of acceptance.

This week’s “uproar” of Game of Thrones (GoT) fanatics toward the very popular TV Series’ ending or finale that was aired on Monday, 20th of May, 2019 (AEST) is a perfect example of lack of contentment (by GoT fans on the show’s ending) due to failed expectations on how the series should end (according to them).

Just to point out on how massive the effect of (their) failed expectations is, apparently, more than a million (GoT) fans online have signed a petition for the show’s creators/producers/writers/directors to “revise” and “re-shoot” the final episode and come up with an acceptable ending.

Seriously? Are you really “expecting” that the team behind GoT will even think about going back to the drawing board just because a lot of people agree that the finale should’ve been revised?

For some reason, I sincerely loved the ending, I felt the overwhelming peace in all the major characters’ eyes before the credits were shown for theast time in Season 08, Episode 06.

Sure there were a LOT of questions (and I prefer not to mention them here for SPOILERS’s sake), but.. life is about having a lot of questions that are mostly rhetorical in nature. Having these questions in our heart make us look forward to the future with a lot of pleasurable uncertainties, challenges, excitement, and that sense of fulfilment as we get there, the future that we expect and hope to happen.

What overwhelmed me about the GoT ending, as a fan and the mere fact that there were a lot of unanswered questions, I feel (yes, I still feel it here in my heart) like I was given the opportunity by the show’s ending to create my own conclusion. Which means that I was spared from being “spoon-fed” with all my expectations fulfilled through (probably) GoT’s “desirable” ending.

My final point:

Sophie Turner, one of the lead actresses in the series who played the character Sansa Stark has come out through social media and slammed the clamour to revise the ending… she cited RESPECT to the show’s writers, producers, writers, directors and everyone who became part of the show since it first aired in HBO (Season 1) from way back 2011.

Salute to you Miss Sophie Turner.

To everyone involved in Game of Thrones… especially the Writers, Program Creators, Directors, The Cast, the Utility and all People behind the camera, and HBO…. thank you!

You have my utmost respect.

Alfie Tilan

(24-05-2019)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#016): Why The Colour of Love Changes

“Physical presence and a sincere personal dedication of love can alter a dull and bleak past, that happened in a couple’s relationship, to a bright and colourful life of being truly forever in love with each other in the future.”

Alfie Tilan

(19-03-2019)

On: Why The Colour of Love Changes?

…because Love is Magic.

Love is a Mystery.

Love is Life.

Love Moves.

Love Hurts.

Love Inspires.

Love has endless meanings and has been heartily defined in poetry, even in a lot of songs.

A number of us may not agree (for some, they’re maybe right, and for others, they’re maybe wrong)…

but, for me, those who experienced love before can rightfully claim and define, in their own way, the TRUE meaning of LOVE, simply because they all have managed to FEEL it….

All of us have different views about love.

For some people, Love is about inspiration (i.e. they have a happy “lovelife”),

Unfortunately for others, love is a distraction; i.e., they can’t focus on other important things like career and family (parents, siblings, relatives) and friends because they’re more focused on their so-called “lovelife”.

However, and on the contrary, this is not a distraction for the positive thinkers who are in love because, for them, even if it’s “unrequited love”, it’s already a Blessing that they felt capable of being in love…and for others, in spite
of failed relationships and heartbreaks, being in love gave them more (colour to) life and more reasons to be excited on what’d the future bring.

There are still Millions of Reasons/Meanings/Situations where people describe LOVE in their own personal way… and I strongly agree that the meaning of love is not to be defined via textbook-like context that we find amongst many references
in circulation…

Love is not just a subject that has meanings, love is a feeling, love lets us extract a meaning as to why we’re living…and Love allows us to get excited on what the future brings.

For me, love is like a sense where I can get the chance to look back at the happy memories of my growing up years.

Note: this is a true story for me because this has sort of set me up for the ultimate happiness when Julie and I swore to each other, through marriage, our vows almost 22 years ago in 1997.

Just a side story, I can’t help but look back at my past experiences, in dealing with personal relationships, before when I was still a young and hopeless romantic bloke.

Unlike what the millennials’ daily routine these days, teenage life was so simple then. I never experienced letting hundreds of my friends know my daily status (happy, sad, or just simply naaahhh!) through any form of social media like
FB Instagram or Twitter now (oh, by the way, the words “social” and “media” where two separate “entities” and far from being combined into one powerful form of communication then). Anyway, the first reason why it was virtually impossible for me to communicate
to a hundred friends in a day is because I never had even a hundred friends (at one time) then. I could probably count close to 30 people (including classmates) as part of my circle of friends, and yeah, I never had the luxury to say “Hi” to all of them in
a span of less than a minute… but I can assure you, those times when we got to say “hi” to each other, were quality unadulterated happy moments…simply because we had those cherished meetings happen physically….i.e. seeing each other in person.

I can still paint the picture in my head of the infectious laughter that I adored from my friends’ faces, I can still hear the sound of their different tones through their sharing of own stories told to our group, and I can still feel the
diverse emotions that showed in their eyes as they went through the stories of ups and downs in life based on our own personal dealings away from each other.

As to how my story above relates to LOVE?

Well, expression of love can be done in so many ways (even from long distance), which is also to keep-in-pace with the latest technology that we can use in order to address the “physical absence” of our love one; e.g. the use of skype,
video messenger, etc..

However, there’s one big and major factor in keeping the love alive, 1.) the sense of touch though physical presence, and 2.) an exclusive/personal dedication of love.

First, is the sense of touch. Call me old-fashioned but sometimes, it’s better to go back to the basics in order to keep the expression of love more meaningful. Holding hands whilst looking at the bright stars, endless conversations whilst
her head rests on his shoulder, and a kiss goodnight to end a lovely day are priceless.

Second, an exclusive/personal dedication of love. I still maintain that, in a case where being away from each other (physically) is unavoidable (e.g. work related assignments), handwritten letters and notes are way better than text, email,
and messenger. Surely, “time” (letters from a love one can reach us in days) and “resources” (why spend money on stamps when Facetime is free) are of the essence here…. but love will always stand the test of time, and a couple’s love for each other bears no
cost at all since love is like their own treasure that’s worth investing for.

…and that my friends is my own explanation as to why the colour of Love changes…. physical presence and a sincere personal dedication of love can alter a dull and bleak past, that happened in a couple’s relationship, to a bright and colourful
life of being truly forever in love with each other in the future.

Alfie Tilan

(19-03-2019)