Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#015): What Did You Say Love Is?

If you LOVE someone, you don’t just give your love one life’s luxuries that fade, but the best thing that you can do is to implant the sincere love with a touch of instilling the feeling of security and irrepressible blissful future in the person that deserves your love.

 

Alfie Tilan

(27-November-2018)

 

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Topics about Love can be so endearing… but can also be an infinite one.

 

ALL OF US have our own perception or definition about LOVE… and I really mean ALL of us, in all shape and form, the young and the old…

 

I am pretty sure that the first person to say “I Love You” to me is my mother… and I define Love then as sort of an affirmation from a Mother to her Son, that everything will be okay as long as she’s there protecting me from all possible harm that I might get exposed into (e.g. from the Bullies in school, etc.)

 

As I grow older, in my Primary School days, I got exposed to a new meaning of Love… my mother showed me how she Love me by setting “priorities” for me and my siblings.

Our family is basically in a “poor” standard of living during that time:

  • the struggles to have a brand new school uniform because family budget is never enough ( I remember wearing the same set of uniform for two straight years, and I finally got a new one because I have outgrown their size),
  • as far as I can remember I have only experienced being in a movie house once in my entire Primary School days (that’s 6 years without watching a film in a Cinema),

 

However, in spite of being “deprived” of the above “luxuries”, I never felt hungry because I missed a meal (we eat a decent 3 times a day and sometimes a bonus of having afternoon snacks) , I never felt substantially sick because on every first sign of illness my mother would always bring me to Dr. Gonzalez (a private Doctor in our barangay), I never missed any school activities (e.g. school field days, educational trips, etc.) that require extra payment, and although I never experienced going to a Private School, I am proud to say that my mother gave me the best education anyone could ever have… and I owe it all to the Public Schools I attended during my school days; Makati Elementary School (Primary), Makati Polytechnic Community College (Secondary), and Polytechnic University of the Philippines (Tertiary) where I finished the course Bachelor of Science in Mechanical Engineering.

 

I learned from my mother that Love is not about giving or living the temporary luxuries in life.

She indirectly taught me that, If you LOVE someone, you don’t give your love one life’s luxuries that fade, but the best thing that you can do is to implant the sincere love with a touch of inculcating the feeling of security and irrepressible future in the person that deserves your love.

___with Mama_20170624_154533

Having the above “LOVE’s foundation” overwhelming me, this is also where I learned the meaning of LOVE in the most significant way….

 

My mother is a devoted Catholic, but I don’t ever remember her imposing her Catholic beliefs in me and my siblings. All she ever did was being what she normally does as a Catholic; go to Church on Sundays, Pray the Rosary, and be kind and fair to all the people around her.

 

Through her own examples, my older sister and I found ourselves practicing the same Faith and “even exceeded” what my mother normally does when we became involved in Church activities (St. Paul Parish in Poblacion, Makati, Philippines).

My sister and I attended Legion of Mary, Bible Studies, and I even became an Altar Server during early morning masses…and this was the time I got exposed to, for me, the deepest meaning of Love; the Love as depicted in the Bible…

…from the New Testament of the Christian Bible, the First Epistle to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians) Chapter 13 verses 4-8, and 13:Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. …And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is Love.” (New International Version)

 

To this day, I am still marvelling at the thoughts (and perhaps dream) that someday we would all have in us derive the true meaning of LOVE from 1 Corinthians 13.

 

However, we live in a world of reality where we cannot impose what everyone should feel towards each other… because God has given us free will… the GIFT of freedom to choose and to feel…

 

So, for those who get “emotional tensions” because they haven’t found their TRUE LOVE yet… don’t despair, being in LOVE is not just about being in love with a partner, there are a lot of LOVELY moments that we can enjoy even without a partner… we have the LOVE from our Family…and our Friends.

 

 

Alfie Tilan

(27-November-2018)

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Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#014): “On Quality Love”

“Where’s the Quality of Love…? When I say quality, I really mean QUALITY! The 100% attention!!…. Quality love can simply be… the endless talk while looking at each other’s eyes… or even the moments of silence while holding her hand and simply
letting her feel your physical presence that would make her feel so secured… when you run your fingers through her hair that sends your heartfelt love and affection to her… when you both share sincere compliments to each other even in your most glaring faults
because both of you see beyond what others cannot see in both you.”

ALFIE TILAN

(20-September-2018)

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I came across two different people in two different occasions where “Quality Love” came as one great focus.

Friend No. 1:

One Friday afternoon, a colleague paid me a visit in our office. A simple unplanned catch up that is supposed to have a making of exchanging pleasantries turned out to be an afternoon of unexpected whinging from him.

His litany of complaints were also unexpected… he said he’s going to be busier for the entire weekend compared to what he’d been in the last workdays of the week.

I was not sure if he’s complaining about him not having enough time to relax with his family on the weekend, or he just hated himself for accepting a lot of invitations from his friends for the duration of the coming weekend…

I didn’t bother to ask because;

1. It’s none of my business, and

2. I have better things to focus on than dwell with the negative vibes that he just brought to the office (on a Friday at that!)

We live in a world where it is almost impossible not to meet people who bring “toxic” flashes to us.

What’s “toxic”, and why do I have to quote the word? Although I first understood toxic’s meaning as “poisonous”, I first heard the word (some 3 decades ago) being used in a “busy working environment” just like how my Nurse friends describe
it… “I’m sorry guys I can’t join you for this weekend’s out of town trip because it’s so toxic at work”… meaning they are so busy (with a tinge of hassle) at work.

Nowadays we tend to describe some people around us as toxic because they don’t only occupy restlessness and stress in our senses but they also bring “harm” to our supposed to be peaceful life.

Conversely, the same people who were not part of our daily routine before but somehow entered our life, because we felt the “need” to be friends with them, are the ones who now cause (direct and indirect) toxicity in us.

I caught up again with this same friend of mine who visited me in the office one Friday afternoon, and he was so calm and excited as he shared his long weekend spent with his relatives and friends from way back whom he call
“his family’s best friends”… and unlike the previous Friday afternoon conversation with him, I saw in his face the excitement that was still beaming in his face as he shared how relaxing his weekend was.

The one word that stood out and kept on reverberating during this conversation was LOVE…. “I LOVE them”,
“it was really LOVELY spending time with them again”, I LOVE the way they make efforts to spend with us”…

LOVE in friendship, LOVE in the moments spent with friends… they really make a difference in one’s perception on how amazing it is to be with our
LOVE ones… and LOVE ones are not always limited to family and relatives…and even friends…

We can extract love from everything and anyone we spend time with. There will be times when we feel like we have no choice but to spend some time together with people whom we are “not really friends” with (e.g. a birthday celebration of
a common friend)… do we get affected by being with them in one “celebration” for that particular time (or worse, when one has to skip attending a friend’s birthday celebration just to avoid another guest invited in the same party)? The feeling and
“sharing the Love” with an “adversary” is not about being forced to do so just because we are in “neutral grounds”…. we have to overcome that feeling of hatred and let the LOVE for that common friend (who put us in the same room with people who
are “not our friends”) radiate the entire time.

There are those who insist that they cannot be in the same room with “enemies” because they are not the type who can easily flash that fake smile just for the sake of being civil about it… I understand, I’ve been there, not just once or
twice, but so many times… I was one of those who cannot hide my “frowning” glory whenever I’m with the
“unfriendly” crowd

We all have our own turning point stories from basically small to massive turnarounds and life changing events…. and mine happened more than three decades ago; more than a decade before I first met my wife
Julie.

I was part of a “group” who serve in a Catholic Church in Makati during Sunday morning masses. One time a Priest talked to me after the service and asked me why I kept on frowning during the entire mass. I was surprised because I
really didn’t notice I was acting that way, and it took a Priest to notice this the entire time.

It then occurred to me that I was disgusted the whole time because I saw a school
“bully” in the congregation sitting in front during the mass.

The Priest then told me that it’s always a great thing to focus on our Love in everything we do; in school, at work, and even in small tasks that we do in simple gatherings… but more importantly our focus on our
Love to Almighty God shall always be at the top of our list, and everything else will follow.

From then on, I always made it a point to focus on the positive things and be aware on the reasons why I put myself in a particular situation.

I was in that particular Morning Mass because I was serving The Lord. My Love for him is first and foremost and no amount of negative people, and unworthy distractions should ever divert my attention and the gratification of being able
to be with Him on that particular time.

Similarly, when I find myself in a “hostile environment” surrounded by (my perception as) unfriendly people, my focus is always the reason why I was there… and one perfect example is because I was there to attend a dear friend’s personal
celebration, wherein my LOVE for that friend is enough to transform my negative thoughts into Love….and I tell you, this Love can surely eradicate any amount of “toxicity” in your thoughts and physical being.

Friend No. 2:

Someone from my group of “not-so-close” friends once complained about his
“bestfriends” as being non-committed about their friendship.

When I asked why, he said that, among his 1000+ friends on Facebook, she’s the only one whom he always say “Hi” to every single day, and she doesn’t even reply to all of his messages. He only gets, on average, one reply in every ten messages
he sends to her.

He then went on with his complaints that her GF broke-up with him because he was accused of not being “sweet enough” to her, but in fact he (claims that he) always greets her in Messenger, in his and her Facebook Timeline, and Text Messages
“all the time”.

It seemed like he was talking to me just to vent out, needed someone to listen to him, and didn’t need any of my advice.

That night, I contemplated on what I just heard from him, and thought about the way “love” to those particular people involved were expressed to them respectively.

Are we really experiencing the “Love Expressed in Facebook Syndrome”?

Can we gauge true friendships by the number of messages and likes we get in
Facebook?

Why can’t we spend quality time with our friends and love ones by being with them in person and talking to them without any gadgets in our hands.

It seems like we now live in “the age” where we cannot be separated with our phone for even just an hour. It’s like most of us would prefer talking to our love ones through FB because we can multi task… we can talk to “a lot of our
friends” at the same time if we do it in Messenger rather than picking up the phone and talk to one person as if it’s a waste of time. This is because we are limited to reaching out a few our friends online when we are busy talking to someone on the phone
and in person.

Where’s the Quality of Love…? When I say quality, I really mean
QUALITY! The 100% attention??…. Quality love has to have… the endless talk while looking at each other’s eyes…or even the moments of silence while holding her hand and simply letting her feel your physical presence that would make her feel so secured…
when you run your fingers through her hair that sends your heartfelt love and affection to her… when you both share sincere compliments to each other even in your most glaring faults because both of you see beyond what others cannot see in both of you…

We should always remember that a friendship based on social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.) can never replace true, personal, and sincere friendships that involve
personal conversations wherein you can hear and/or see each other.

Nothing can replace a personal call and one’s physical presence as means to validate friendship.

Never rely on Social Media to express your love with someone.

Never fall into a trap like greeting your Dad with a
Happy Father’s Day in FB but in reality he has no FB account and you didn’t even bother to say your Facebook greetings to your Dad in person because you thought it (FB greeting) was enough.

Having thousands of friends in social media doesn’t always equate to having sincere friends.

Allow me to quote a line from one of the best movies I’ve watched this year.

“You don’t need everyone to love you…just a few good people.”

Charity Barnum (Michelle Williams‘ character from the movie starring Hugh Jackman, “The Greatest Showman”)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#013): “On Twenty One”

“For some, Love can be found at first sight,

For others, it takes one misunderstanding to pick up a fight.

For twenty one years we’ve experienced countless and mostly forgettable misunderstandings…

…but the Love that we have for each other is always the same Love that brings us back to that same feeling…”.

ALFIE TILAN

(20-September-2018)

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When Julie and I got married exactly 21 years ago today, me being the happiest man on earth seemed like an understatement.

I kept on praising God for the gift of Love and Marriage… and for giving me a perfect wife in Julie.

I was so confident that the Love we have for each other will overcome any challenges that we may encounter as we journey towards having our own family.

I’m not sure if I’m the only one who felt like nothing will go wrong in our marriage because we are so in love with each other.

…but the inevitable always sets in, guess what, I was wrong about “nothing will go wrong..”.

We (Julie and I) have been together now, as husband and wife, for twenty-one years…, of course “some things can go wrong”… there were many misunderstandings; some are beyond our control and most of them were from “wrong, childish, and selfish, decisions” (yes, I was to blame for majority of those).

I am pondering on those past misunderstandings right now, and trying my darnest best to remember why they happened, how they happened, and what were the final resolutions to those conflicts….???…. and I just couldn’t come up with one specific instance where the above questions can satisfactorily be answered.

However, I know in myself and I can say now, with great conviction, that those past “marriage journey trials” paved way for Julie and I to get to know each other better… or should, I say way way better… and our LOVE for each other made it all possible… they made our marriage stronger… they were like weapons and shield that prepare us for all battles ahead.

This Love is not just an ordinary Love, its the LOVE that was founded in our heart and being and withstood 21 years… and counting to FOREVER.

For some, Love can be found at first sight,

For others, it takes one misunderstanding to pick up a fight.

For twenty one years we’ve experienced countless and mostly forgettable misunderstandings…

…but the Love that we have for each other is always the same Love that brings us back to the same feeling…

The past 21 years are like years of realization… and made me fall in Love a lot more with my wife Julie.

To borrow a line from a Meryl Streep movie, my wife Julie is like,

“The butter to my bread and breath to my life…” -from the movie “Julie & Julia”

Happy 21st Anniversary my Labidabs Julie.

I LOVE YOU.

To FOREVER as long as we shall live,

Alfie Tilan

(20-09–2018)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#012): Pure Gary V.

“Singing is not just about having a great voice, it’s about immersing yourself in a song where it can bring you to a dimension of which you can fully express and say anything that you feel inside your heart… through the sentiments of what the song portrays.”

Alfie Tilan

(11-July-2018)

Have you ever wondered what a turnaround ONE DAY can bring to someone’s sensitivity?

06-July-2018: On this day, I got shocked when I saw in an online news that Gary Valenciano has cancer, and so sadness engulfed me…

…but the next day’s (07-July-2018) update gave me pronounced reasons why I should be happy… because apparently, Gary V. is already cancer-free.

I have to admit that I didn’t read the full details of the online news feed from Universal Records Philippines…or should I say, I refused to read those news because I was experiencing austerity and maybe a case “self-denial” that Gary V., indeed has cancer.

Up to now (I still refuse or ) I haven’t read any news details about “Gary V’s cancer”… and yes, this is self-imposed.

Why do I “talk this way”? Here’s a bit of a 35-years (compressed from 1983 to 2018) background:

In 1983, I was a sophomore in high school when I heard this emotional love song entitled
“Hang On”. I loved the song the very first time I heard it but I never really “paid too much attention” to it because, it’s a break-up song for God’s sake!… and it’s not applicable for me.

Also, during that time, almost everyone in my generation were engrossed on this young Jackson 5 singer named Michael Jackson who established himself as a solo artist with his 1979 “Off The Wall” album, then officially became a Pop Music sensation with his 1983
“Thriller” album…

…and by the way, the name of this neophyte singer who sang “Hang On” is Gary Valenciano and he was then branded as a “trying-hard-clone of Michael Jackson”.

Oh well, if I were him, I wouldn’t mind being branded as an imitator to a great singer like Michael Jackson because Gary Valenciano realy has the moves to become a Michael Jackson of the Philippines.

Anyway, the year after that, 1984 this (becoming to be) familiar voice was really catching my attention with the release of his yet another beautiful love song entitled “Reachin’ Out”, and this time it’s about “pursuing someone that you’re in love with”… oh! I think it’s sort of becoming applicable for me because I experienced having a massive crush (my very first) with a classmate of mine way back in 1984 when “Reachin’ Out” was released.

As I started admiring and singing his songs, did I suddenly become a fan of Gary Valenciano? NO! Because the 80s music has such a powerful appeal particularly the foreign acts who were significantly promoted with the dawn of Music Television (MTV). Everyone’s crazy about MTV. Topics during school recess were about this Music Video and that
Music Video….and most of them were about the international singers and bands MJ, Madonna, A-ha, The Police, etc.

Fast forward to 1986, I was in my first year in University (Polytechnic University of the Philippines) when Gary Valenciano became popular with the “masses” through his rendition of his “Pasko Na Sinta Ko” single… a break-up song (again) this time set in the most festive season of the year: Christmas….and I must admit, I was one of those people who thought that “Pasko Na Sinta Ko” is really a Christmas (“Pasko” in Tagalog) song.

The year after that, 1987, was my breakout year…this was the year when I admitted to myself that or officially declared myself as a HUGE Gary Valenciano fan. This was the year when he released his single “Di Bale Na Lang” (and also the title of the very first Gary Valenciano (that eventually became Gary V.) movie that I watched on the big screen). This song is also part of his “Moving Thoughts” album which, to this day, is one of my favorite music albums of all time.

Later that year I looked forward to watch Gary V. perform Live in a major concert….and so, it happened, December 18, 1987, I was able to purchase two concert tickets and I was with my best friend Nazer when we were treated to a memorable “Gary V. Pure Energy” concert held in a then popular venue, Folk Arts Theater. I really cannot forget the first ever concert that I saw where almost everyone were on their feet singing and dancing along to
Gary V’s hits. It was the start of my search to quench my thirst of more Gary V. concerts LIVE! I really can’t thank enough my best friend, Nazer, for being with me in all those years of my “Gary V Fan Mode”.

When I got married to Julie in September 1997 and had our first born in September 1998, my urgencies have sort of changed from being a great fan to becoming a Gary V. music lover… I got contented to singing and listening to his music and watch his performances on TV. The last major Gary V. concert that I watched is “Gary V. – Pure Love” which was held on Valentine’s Day of 1998 at the Araneta Coliseum. It was so special because that time I was with Julie who was then 2 months pregnant with Elisha, our first of two children. After Edgel, our youngest was born on the year 2000, Julie and I had the chance to watch a Gary V. concert in
Music Museum 5 years later, it was not as big as the ones in major venues like Araneta Coliseum but it was really intimate. It was the first time that I got really close with Gary V.. He moved around during one of his performances and stopped in front of where Julie and I were seated and, while he’s singing, he willingly posed for a photo op with me as Julie clicked my old Nokia 6600 phone. If in case you’re wondering as to why that “photo” never made it in this blog….well, the Nokia 6600, recorded in history as the first camera phone to sell over a million units worldwide, did not able to capture the photo. I’m not blaming the phone and of course I will never blame my wife who took the photo for not capturing the moment… instead, I treat it as a blessing because it was a special instance wherein what happened that time was purely instilled in my happy memories…which means that, since I never have a file or a print out of me with Gary V, no one can steal that memory away from me because it will forever be in my mind (and heart) as long as I live. The things that you can see are less significant than the happy memories that you feel and remain in your heart forever.

I may have stopped being a massive Gary V. fan when the new millennium ensued… but I will always look up to him as my champion…and here are some of the many reasons why:

· He made me appreciate music in a deeper and meaningful sense, with the way he sings his songs,

· He made me realize that, in spite of the influx of many great international singers and artists during the 80s (and most of them I truly
admire), a local singer who is true to his style and way of performing can become a better influence to a local fan like me. Oh yes I even came to a point where I defended Gary V. as a better singer than any other local talent at that time (1991).

· He made me realize that we can come out of anyone’s shadow (like the way he had outdone most people’s impression that he’s “just” an MJ copycat) if we can re-invent ourselves to new heights and be better in all aspects,

· Gary V, being a diabetic for more than three decades now, has categorically taught me to put all diversities and trials behind and pursue your dreams to become successful in whatever path you choose to go to, and finally,

· Although imitating Gary V., never made me a great singer nor a dancer, he made me become so confident with my singing and (dance) performances. Here’s a proof that I have become “thick-skinned” (figuratively of course). In almost
all of the company Christmas parties I have attended in the past (in the Philippines) I almost always volunteer myself to perform a
Gary V. song.

The last bullet point above started in 1987. Imagine this, on that same year, I was in my 2nd year in
PUP as an Engineering student, there were times when, while waiting for the next class, along the school corridor, I can be seen singing to the beat of “Di Bale Na Lang” in front of my cheering University classmates. It was one of the first Gary V. dance
hits that really made it big during that time… and it was the first danceable Filipino song that I ever memorized and sung with all impunity sans the inhibitions. “Di Bale Na Lang” really eradicated my shy attitude towards being free to express myself through singing. Of course, to this day, I cannot say that I am a good singer…but I can tell this straight to anyone’s face that singing is not just about having a great voice, it’s about immersing yourself in a song where it can bring you to a dimension of which you can fully express and say anything that you feel inside your heart… through the sentiments of what the song portrays.

All of the things that I mentioned above came flashing right before my eyes when I saw the news headline that Gary V. has cancer.

I realized that, for the longest time since 2005 that I was “absent” from admiring his talent, appreciating his new songs, and buying his latest albums… I am not, and will never be prepared, to see Gary V. gone for good.

I am not a friend to Gary V., he’s not even aware of my existence, and I am just one of his millions of fans….but I will always consider him as a friend, I will always look up to him as my hero, and I will always pray for his health, his
safety, and peace of mind.

This blog is not just a tribute to Gary V…. this is also my way of thanking him for being, “Pure Gary V.“.

Long LIVE and GOD BLESS.

Alfie Tilan

(11-July-2018)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#011): Free Throws That Happen in our Daily Life

“Life in this world (just like playing in Team Sports) is not solely focused on you; it’s about God, our love ones and friends, fairness/equality, and hard work.”

Alfie Tilan

(19-06-2018)

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1. …if only we can have the perks of being rewarded with something (just like a free throw in the game of basketball) right away after “a foul” is committed against us…

2. …if only there is someone who will always blow his whistle, loud enough for us to hear, to let us know that we committed “a foul” against someone…

3. …if only we can fully concentrate and acquire the much needed skills to convert all the “free throws” awarded to us and contribute to beating our opponents who fouled/harmed us…

4. …if only we have our teammates who are right there by our side as we take our free throws, assuring us that if we ever miss, they are always there to rebound the ball and give us more chances to convert a basket then beat our opponents.

For me, just like the “free throws” in the game of basketball, we have to factor these four basic “factors” that affect our daily life;

1. …is about fairness…

2. …is about God…

3. …is about hard work…

4. …is about friends…

Fairness is always there for those who deserve it. Fairness may not happen as we see it (e.g. if a foul is not called against our opponent as we take a shot to the basket), but the rewards (probable free throws) will be given through God’s Blessings as we continue to have faith in Him.

God is there not only to reprimand those who did harm against us but also to remind everyone if we are doing some bad things that hurt the people around us.

Hard work is about us not just waiting for God’s Blessings to come our way but also toughen up and prepare ourselves to make the most out of every opportunity, every day, every hour, every minute, and every second that pass by…and always remember that our life in itself is already a Gift from God.

Friends are also God’s gift! Having friends to support us in all our needs do not just happen by accident. We practice hard to make those free throws and maybe win the game for the team, but at the same time they have our backs if something goes wrong along the way. Friendship is give and take, friendship is unconditional…just like the way God sees all of us…His LOVE will forever be unconditional.

The next time you get the chance to play a team sport (not just basketball), think about playing fair and respect the rules of the sport that you play in, but most of all, think about God who Loves us unconditionally… who will surely reward us with all our effort….even if you’re a star player or a bench warmer. Think about the hard work that you put in just to make it to the team, then contribute fully to the tasks you were assigned to do to the best of your ability. Finally, think about your teammates whom you can always treat as your friends and win the game together. Remember, life in this world (just like playing in Team Sports) is not solely focused on you; it’s about God, our love ones and friends, fairness/equality, and hard work.

Alfie Tilan

(19-06-2018)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#010): True Love Is It?

“True love is sometimes camouflaged through a process….
…a process that is like wine…a process that requires time…”

Alfie Tilan
(06-May-2018)

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Have you seen the movie Ocean’s 11 (2001)? This was a remake of the 1960 movie with the same title, but I’m not going to dwell on what the movie is all about…this is about something else that is not “the focal point” of the movie.

I found a Love Story in this suspense/thriller themed movie… in a scene where a man (George Clooney) asked a woman (Julia Roberts) if her new lover (Andy Garcia) makes her laugh…which implies, in my opinion, that this is George’s way of finding out if Julia really loves Andy the way she love(d) George…

Julia didn’t directly answer the question. Her response was Andy never makes her cry...which implies that her feelings towards Andy is not true love after all (again, this is just my opinion)…

Sometimes it’s better not to argue on one’s perspective of what true love means especially if it contradicts your own definition of what true love is all about.

We sometimes see some relationships as “relationships for convenience”, that their love for each other were derived from their brains and not from the heart.

Who are we to argue about it? We cannot judge someone’s feelings based on our beliefs.

For those, who haven’t watched the movie and are planning to watch it, there will be no spoiler here. I will not mention the ending of the movie’s “love story” part.

I, however, will not end this “blog” of mine without giving my two cents’ worth about this scene (as summarized on the combined photos of the scene in the movie).

When you value love as “a way” to get out of your present miseries, THINK AGAIN…
…it might not be true love at all but simply a form of escape as you test the waters, so to speak, and hope that your “decision” will eventually lead to your own “happy-ever-after”
…it’s like a self-acceptance and you are anticipating that your happiness is not complete… but your decision to have someone as “your love” is justified… because that person will never make you cry, which outweighs the fact that the same person never makes you laugh..

Perhaps we can change our perception that love is a full package… that someone out there…a true love… will never make you cry…and can also make you laugh…

Finding true love is not a race

True love is not like finding a partner who’s like a saint…

True love can involve some patience that will require you to wait…

True love is sometimes camouflaged through a process….

…a process that is like wine…a process that requires time…

Alfie Tilan
(06-May-2018)

Alfie’s A Hundred Quotes (#009): What’s Missing is “I”

We still need a certain balance in life, and make sure that we are not alone in tackling the struggles that come along the way…yes, there’s no “i” in “team”, but there is one in “win”.

-Alfie Tilan
(14-04-2018)

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On: What’s Missing is “I”…

Meanwhile, at Costco this morning, an SUV (…having a “familiar rego”) parked in front of the spot where I parked my car, caught my attention (yup just the registration plate and not really the car).

I amused myself by whispering (as if talking to the car in front of me)… “you’re missing one letter mate, and a very important one at that, the letter ‘i’… now I dont really have the right to call you mine… at least based on association with your registration plate…”

In life we sometimes get reminded of some important lessons through what we see around us…and when I saw that rego (TLAN) without the letter “i” in it to complete our surname (Tilan), these two thoughts suddenly dawned on me:

1. That perhaps, the rego plate TILAN is still available and will always be reserved for me, and

2. I would always need “I” (myself) to accomplish and achieve something important that I could really say to myself that “I” did it.

I couldn’t help but ponder more on the second point that I mentioned above.

You see, I grew up always reminding myself that in order to be successful in life I have to learn to seek the help of others…that I have to include this in my slogan, “No Man is an Island”...

…and that there’s no “I” in the word TEAM

Upon seeing that “I” is indeed needed to compete TILAN… I had to slap my face and correspond to myself that everything should start with me.. I would certainly need “I” to accomplish everything that I desire and perhaps fulfill lifelong dreams that I have in me eversince.

Having to focus on “I” in our character is not that bad after all… it’s the start of specific journeys that we have to tackle and go through as we look ahead towards a brighter future.

Having said that, we still need a certain balance in life, and make sure that we are not alone in tackling the struggles that come along the way…yes, there’s no “i” in “team”, but there is one in “win”.

Alfie Tilan
(14-04-2018)